i made a record of SID's 'owakare no uta' with my mobile phone this night. low quality is... very low. ( ̄□ ̄);

and, finally, i was able to rearrange my room. even if i'm still not completely finished.. but it's way easier now for me to keep on practicing! yay! 
...didn't watch the girugamesh DVD up to now. using it to force myself to finish things. "..as long as you didn't finish this, you must not watch it!!"
...the bad part is,.. 
it's working.  (=ω=;)



present to myself

ha-hayy! (´▽`)ノ

f i n a l l y ! !
i can't tell you how long i've been waiting for it. ..well okay, it felt like years.
well, okay, it arrived in time. ...well, okay, due to the fact that one of the items was released 3 days ago, it was pretty fast but.. i can't tell you how long i've been waiting for it to arrive!! AND NOW - I HOLD IT IN MY HANDS! BWAHAHAH~! (*'▽'*)

wondering what's inside of it?

mooost important : 
the new Girugamesh live DVD "Chiba". yes. very important. i've been waiting for it like.. well.. forever? (haha) i can't wait to watch it. honestly. can't wait. ..must wait. i have to rearrange my room first. .. .. 
i want to watch it. like..
right fucking now. argh.  (/ω\)

well, the second item i got is the newest lynch. DVD.
well,.. i forgot that i ordered the special edition, so i was kinda irritated as i opened the box like.. "thefuckisthis?" - in a good way. of course. (sorry, i'm kinda euphoric right now.... over..excited.. or.. something like this..) nevertheless, i can't wait to watch it, too. ..maybe i should try watching both live DVDs at the same time..? .. .. noes. this won't work. uhm. *brabbling*

sooo~, the present i gave to myself included another present, made by the shop i bought it. O-O i'm talking about this!!

oh my god. i mean.. oh my god! it's not only that i forgot that i ordered the special edition, i got a small poster for free, too. *laughs* i feel so stupid sometimes. ...often. ...very often. *facepalm*

whatsoever.. i'm really happy about those presents and.. yeah. did i mention that i can't wait to watch them? no? yes? ..ok. 


Merry You


I didn't listen to a lot of popular songs in the last months. But I heared of this song before. And, as simple as it might be, I loved it from the very begining!
I've seen a video of a proposal of marriage. And I really loved it. Since then, this video is automatically played inside my head as soon as I'm listening to this song. (´▽`)

So I thought I'll give it a try. In a drunk mode. And, well, that's what came out! *laughs*
I did so many mistakes, but, damn, I had a lot of fun!

phateless - Merry You [ Bruno Mars Cover ]

I think I'll record it someday, again.
Without being drunk.




the last time i've spent that much time traveling through a country was about 11 months ago. since then, a strange feeling's coming up as soon as i enter a train. some kind of anticipation...

i'm looking forward to the next time. forward to the next journey. wherever it may take me. in foreign cities, other countries.. i don't care. ( ̄ー ̄)

home is where the heart is, ne? ♡

today i was daydreaming a lot while watching the fast passing landscape. time runs fast, doesn't it? and still there's nothing i regret. feels good, haha! ☆
aww, i really have to finish a lot of stuff. i made tons of illustrations, notes and pre-verions for my projects, but i didn't had the time to turn them into final versions. so i know what i have to do in the upcoming days, ne? (´▽`)ノ
sorry for making you wait for so long!

i'll be back with a lot of new stuff very soon, i promise!  (*'ω'*)ノ



~ ♡ ~

 happy valentine's day to everybody! 
ヽ(=´▽`=)ノ ♡♡♡



i.. just found out...

..that i am able to put half of a peach ..

...in my mouth.

isn't it...


...how stupid a human can look?



Mister H.

hello everybody~!!

my voice is back! FINALLY!

so i did something i promised some time ago! i wrote a new song for a very special person. honestly, i had so much fun doing it. i needed to re-record it for about.. a million times due to the fact that i started laughing.

Happy Birthday, Hanna-san ! (´▽`)ノ

this is for you!  ♥



what a day.

today i heared about Dir en Grey, Kyo and his voice problems.
mh. i don't really know if anybody out there gets what i want to say and understands my opinion, but, well, this is my blog. *laughs* if you don't like it - leave it. 
my personal opinion is, that pausing up to unknown is the best thing they could have done. having problems with the voice isn't an easy thing. it's not like an infection. nothing like "Kyo, lie down for 2 weeks, drink tea and don't sing and everything's gonna be alright again." - it's different.
these kind of problems occur when people claiming their voice too much. and we all know who Kyo is and how Dir en Grey's music is working. so, knowing that, does anybody wonder anymore? 
i was sad when i heared about Hizumi's (D'espairsRay) voice problems and their proximating disbanding. but, same as here, i do understand it and i totally support their decission. in case of D'espairsRay, i'm happy that Hizumi-san gave the other band members the prossibility to join other bands and keep on improving and collecting new experiences. i am pretty sure that, if Hizumi's voice will ever cure again, they'll have some kind of comeback. somewhen, somehow. it might be a small performance at a festival or something like a "last song", but i think this is something that's pretty possible.
same to Dir en Grey. i am happy that they're pausing. i am glad that this decission was made. i want Kyo's voice to recover. i want them to come back as soon as possible because i love their music. but, the condition for that is that kyo's voice is coming back. and for that, he has to rest. they have to wait. to pause up to unknown.
this might be one of the hardest times they've ever had but i wish all of them, that everything's turing out well in the end.



back home


finally, i'm back home. but, i did a mistake and went directly to the city. i felt like getting some new music. i wanted to draw. while i was in hospital my right arm was numb so i wasn't able to draw nor to write anything at all. and due to the fact that it became a bit better, i decided to go to the city, buying some random-drawing-music [ i prefer stuff like trance / house for that ] and then having a nice evening with myself.
big mistake.
big. mistake.

i was happy to be able to reach home alive. 

nevertheless, today, as i took a look into the mirror, i decided to take some pictures. just in case. for.. like.. remembering myself. like.. "when you look like that, don't even think about leaving the house!".
it's better that way i think. being pale and having dark, deep circles around the eyes isn't the healthiest look. must be the anemia. whatsoever. my hands become cold and numb again. damn. i want to smoke. damn. even if i know that it won't taste well when i start again. damn. 

blah blah blah.

here are the pictures of myself. the reason i stayed at home today.



konban wa~!

i'm layin in bed, listening to Red Soil by Dir en Grey, relaxing. 
writing these words makes me think if it's strange to relax to a song like that. i mean.. everybody's chillin to stuff like.. singing birds, sounds of nature like waterfalls, rain,.. and i am listening to.. well, yeah. Dir en Grey.

*takes another cup of lemon-green-tea mixed up with sour-cherry-tea* ( -> fuckin' delicious!! *: ・゚✧ )

aah, i'm bored. 
i want to go home, again and keep on working on projects. or at least being able to draw again. playin guitar, keyboard or singing loudly. honestly, this sucks. (; ̄_ ̄)

and now that i feel so much better, the night-activity returns. as soon as everbody falls asleep, i feel like becoming more and more active. i want to be productive!! hash.. i hope i'll be able to leave on friday. 2 days left. this is something i could live with.

soo much i need to do. 
soooo much i want to do. 
but in the end it's all a matter of the docs and nurses. i hate being adicted to others. ( ̄ ^  ̄ )

i think i'll take the sleeping pill now and then i'm sure to fall asleep pretty fast with the headphones on, haha! ♪~

baibai, world!


staring contest

good morning everybody~!

i have to tell you something.something i need to talk about. i just can't keep it to myself any longer.
do you know those "what's been seen can't be unseen"-pictures? with the creepy faces and figures somewhere hidden in the picture? i got something like this, too.
well, it's not spooky in any way. as i saw it i had to laugh but at the same time i ... got a bit scared, you know?
as you know, i'm still in hospital and lucky me is having a bed at the window.
when i look outside i can take a look at a curch clock. so far so good.
today i looked at it again. i don't really know why, i wasn't even interested in which time it is but, well, a room in a hosptial isn't that fascinating, you know.
however, i looked outside again and i saw this...

(〇Д〇) .......

 what's been seen...

...can't been unseen...